FILM FRENZY

Keanu Reeves, William Sadler, and Alex Winter in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (Photo: Shout! Studios & MGM)

By Matt Brunson

(View From The Couch is a weekly column that reviews what’s new on Blu-ray, 4K and DVD. Ratings are on a four-star scale.)

THE ALASKANS: THE COMPLETE SERIES (1959-1960). Before taking over the role of James Bond from Sean Connery, Roger Moore was already known for his six-season stint as Simon Templar on the 1960s TV series The Saint. But that was hardly the extent of his television credentials, as he had played the title character in the late-‘50s show Ivanhoe, briefly replaced series star James Garner on Maverick in 1960 (portraying Bret Maverick’s cousin, Beau Maverick), and co-starred opposite Tony Curtis in The Persuaders!, his last job before becoming 007. Perhaps the most obscure of all his TV work is The Alaskans, an ABC production that lasted one season. This was basically a Western with snow (indeed, old Maverick scripts were occasionally retooled and used for this series), with the Klondike Gold Rush of the 1890s serving as the backdrop. Moore stars as Silky Harris, who decides that the best way to get rich in the Yukon is not by digging for gold but by getting others to dig for gold and then invest in his various schemes. But he proves to be a bit more conscientious than the typical con man, and he and his partners, rough-and-tumble Reno McKee (Jeff York) and savvy showgirl Rocky Shaw (Dorothy Provine), always end up on the side of right in all their adventures. The setting is about the only aspect that provides some originality, as the storylines themselves are, for the most part, on the anemic side. The guest list isn’t as impressive as those from other shows of the era (no Bronson, Reynolds, Shatner or Nimoy here) — the box copy cites James Coburn as one of the guest stars, but no source corroborates this and he’s nowhere to be seen (Coburn did star in a short-lived 1960 NBC series called Klondike, so that’s probably the source of the confusion). Among those who did appear were George Kennedy, Tor Johnson, and Troy Donahue.

The Blu-ray set contains all 36 episodes; no extras are included.

Series: ★★

ALPHAVILLE (1965). Jean-Luc Godard’s Alphaville (aka Alphaville: A Strange Adventure of Lemmy Caution) is Orwellian dystopia by way of Sam Spade sleuthing, a strange hybrid of science fiction and film noir. It’s both futuristic and minimalist, with Godard employing nary a single special effect in relating the story of an off-world city run by Alpha 60, a super-computer that has outlawed such emotions as love and empathy. It’s a harsh future world — one citizen is executed by the state when he sheds a tear for his dearly departed wife — and Godard manages to make then-present-day Paris (where shooting took place) look as chilly and menacing as anything found in 1984. Arriving in Alphaville from the Outlands is secret agent Lemmy Caution (Eddie Constantine), whose mission is twofold: Find missing agent Henri Dickson (Akim Tamiroff) and neutralize both Alpha 60 and its creator Professor von Braun (Howard Vernon), a mysterious figure who had previously been known as a man named Leonard Nosferatu. Possibly complicating the assignment is the fact that Caution has developed feelings toward the professor’s daughter Natacha (Anna Karina), who as a citizen of Alphaville knows nothing of love or tenderness or devotion. A cinematic way station between Metropolis and Blade Runner, Alphaville does occasionally allow its moralizing to upstage all else. One might also argue that Godard needn’t had made his film as sterile as its setting, yet it’s the very lack of kinetic energy that adds the necessary layers of oppression and paranoia.

Extras in the 4K + Blu-ray edition include audio commentary by film critic Tim Lucas; an interview with Karina; and an introduction by film theorist Colin MacCabe.

Movie: ★★★

BILL & TED’S MOST TRIUMPHANT TRILOGY (1989-2020). As Socrates once declared, “The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.” And as Theodore “Ted” Logan replied on behalf of himself and William “Bill” S. Preston Esq., “That’s us, dude!” Historical exchanges such as these can be found in abundance in Bill & Ted’s Most Triumphant Trilogy, a new box set from Shout! Studios.

While the second picture contains the series MVP (more on that in a moment), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) is overall the better film, as high school dudes Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Keanu Reeves), with the help of the futuristic Rufus (George Carlin), employ a time-travel phone booth to enable them to kidnap historical figures (Lincoln, Freud, Genghis Khan, and others) in an effort to avoid failing their history class. The following decade would witness a high number of dum-dum characters in dum-dum comedies (e.g. Wayne’s World, Dumb and Dumber, The Stupids), but few turned out to be as ingratiating as Bill and Ted, thanks to the likable turns by Reeves and Winter. The script by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon is more clever in the small details than in the broad strokes, and it’s fascinating to learn that one of Beethoven’s favorite albums is Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet.

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) followed a couple of years later, and it earned nearly as much stateside at the box office as its predecessor ($38M to the original’s $40M). This time, the boys attempt to save the world from the diabolical De Nomolos (Joss Ackland), who orders his evil Bill and Ted robots to kill the doofuses and take their place. William Sadler steals the film — nay, the entire series — with his hilarious turn as The Grim Reaper (instead of playing chess as in Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal, this Death is forced to play Battleship and Clue for the boys’ souls), and the film also offers an eye-popping interpretation of Hell. But aside from a few chuckles, the remainder is overstuffed and overindulgent.

In theory, it’s nice to imagine that these amiable airheads would have been the ones to save the COVID-saturated 2020 from being a complete downer — after all, a film celebrating friendship and solidarity would be most excellent in the Time of Trump. But Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020) feels more wheezy than anything, rehashing old routines in a half-hearted manner. Now middle-aged, the dudes must come up with the song that will save our world as it faces imminent destruction. While the pair journey forward in time to force their older selves to fork over the tune, their daughters (Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-Paine) travel to the past to ask Mozart, Jimi Hendrix, and others to join their dads’ band. As the title twits, Reeves and Winter haven’t lost a step, and it’s especially amusing to watch them play different versions of their characters (particularly those muscle-bound prison thugs). But all the hyperactivity proves to be more tiresome than tantalizing, a plot twist involving the daughters heads toward an obvious conclusion, and the climactic set-piece falls flat in spite of its mirthful message.

The 4K UHD + Blu-ray box set housing all three films is, in a word, bodacious. Extras on both Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey include audio commentaries by Winter and producer Scott Kroopf; audio commentaries by Matheson and Solomon; and lengthy retrospective making-of pieces. Extras on Bill & Ted Face the Music include a virtual panel discussion with cast and crew and a behind-the-scenes featurette. And naturally, there’s a piece translating all the non-heinous slang.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure: ★★½

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey: ★★

Bill & Ted Face the Music: ★★

DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981) / DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW 2 (2021). It’s been stated that Dark Night of the Scarecrow gave birth to the whole “Killer Scarecrow” subgenre that has spewed forth such efforts as Scarecrows, Dark Harvest, Jack-O, Husk, and, uh, Scooby-Doo! and the Spooky Scarecrow. Most of these ‘crow flicks are junk, but they certainly got it right the first time. What’s even more impressive is that Dark Night of the Scarecrow was a TV movie (airing on CBS), meaning it had far more restrictions on content than had it been (as originally planned) a theatrical release. It didn’t matter, as this one delivers the goods. Larry Drake, who would later win two Emmy Awards for playing mentally challenged Robert G. Durant on L.A. Law, plays mentally challenged Bubba, whose mere presence irks four of the local rednecks in his Southern community: mailman Otis (Charles Durning), mechanic Skeeter (Robert F. Lyons), and farmers Harliss (Lane Smith) and Philby (Claude Earl Jones). Bubba is friends with a little girl named Marylee (Tonya Crowe), and when it appears that she’s been killed by a local dog, the rubes assume he murdered her — he tries to hide from them by posing as a scarecrow, but they discover him and fatally shoot him 21 times. A lack of evidence allows them to go free, but a scarecrow suddenly starts appearing in their fields, making them wonder if someone is trying to scare a confession out of them or if there is indeed something supernatural afoot. Written by J.D. Feigelson and directed by Audrey Rose / The Entity author Frank De Felitta, this is an exceedingly well-crafted chiller, with Durning particularly memorable as the most evil of the bigoted vigilantes.

Four decades later, Feigelson returned to write and direct Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2, an awful and unnecessary sequel. Scarecrow Bubba (played here by Terry Rankhorn) returns for more mayhem, but whereas in the first film he’s completely sympathetic and we root for him to exact his revenge on his tormentors, here he’s merely a Jason Voorhees wannabe who kills innocent as well as guilty people. His motive seems to be to help an elderly woman (Carol Dines) keep her home, and there’s also a plot about a single mom (Amber Wedding) and her son (Aiden Shurr) arriving in town as part of the Witness Relocation Program. Sloppy writing and wretched performances are what’s truly scary here.

Extras in the 4K UHD edition (billed as Dark Night of the Scarecrows 1 & 2 Double Feature) include audio commentary on the first film by De Felitta and Feigelson; audio commentary on the second film by Feigelson; a retrospective making-of piece on the first film; broadcast promos for the first film’s original 1981 airing and its 1985 rebroadcast; and a photo gallery.

Dark Night of the Scarecrow: ★★★

Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2: ★

DICK TRACY RKO CLASSIC COLLECTION (1945-1947). Created by Chester Gould, Dick Tracy has been around in its original comic-strip format for 93 years now, and its radio incarnation enjoyed a healthy 14-year run beginning in the mid-1930s. A sustained presence on television was far more spotty, with a short-lived 1950 TV series starring Ralph Byrd (easily the most popular of all flesh-and-blood Dicks), a 1965 animated team-up with Mr. Magoo (no, really), a failed 1967 live-action pilot from the producer of the campy Batman series, and brief skits on one of Archie Andrews’ Saturday morning toon shows. As for film, folks today are doubtless most familiar with Warren Beatty’s 1990 version, yet that was a Johnny-come-lately — or a Johnny-Ramm-come-lately, to namedrop a vintage Tracy villain — compared to earlier appearances. There were four Republic serials from 1937-1941, followed by four RKO feature films in a three-year span in the ‘40s. The VCI label has brought those four flicks to Blu-ray in a restored collection that’s leaps above the quartet’s gruesome stay in the public domain. The first two star Morgan Conway as the square-jawed detective, while the latter two showcase Byrd, who had also starred in all four serials and would later headline the brief TV show.

Unlike the Beatty version, these were not high-expense, high-profile pictures — on the contrary, they were programmers that each ran just over the one-hour mark. But while they’re not particularly distinguishable, they are entertaining, thanks primarily to the rogues’ gallery on tap. Dick Tracy (1945), aka Dick Tracy, Detective, finds the copper attempting to ascertain the link between a series of slayings being committed by a villain ultimately revealed to be Splitface (Mike Mazurki). Dick Tracy vs. Cueball (1946) offers an especially memorable heavy in Dick Wessell, cast as a bald baddie involved in a diamond heist. Byrd takes over from Conway for Dick Tracy’s Dilemma (1947), with Jack Lambert (the scene-stealing hood in 99 River Street, here looking startlingly like Philip Seymour Hoffman) cast as The Claw, a hook-handed thug introducing murder to an insurance scam. Byrd had to settle for second billing with Dick Tracy vs. Gruesome (1947), a logical course of action when your villain is played by Boris Karloff. Karloff’s Gruesome is a convict who gets his hands on a scientist’s secret formula — one that freezes people in place — and uses it in a bank robbery.

Extras consist of audio commentaries on all four films by Max Allan Collins, who took over writing the Dick Tracy comic strip after Gould retired; audio commentaries on all movies by various film historians; introductions to all films by Collins; sample chapters from the earlier Dick Tracy serials; and an image gallery. A booklet is also included.

Collection: ★★½

HIGH CRIME (1973). One of the most popular and influential of the early poliziotteschi pictures, Italian crime thrillers that became their own specialized genre, High Crime (original Italian: The Police Incriminate, the Law Acquits) was itself inspired by The French Connection, right down to the casting of Fernando Rey as a Mafioso bigwig (indeed, one of its video titles was The Marseille Connection). An intense Franco Nero stars as Vice-Commissioner Belli, a no-nonsense cop who’s after the criminals bringing heroin into Genoa. His superior (James Whitmore) wants more hard evidence before throwing the book at the bad guys, but the hot-headed Belli is too impatient for such niceties. He meets with crime kingpin Cafiero (Rey), and it soon becomes apparent that a rival outfit is trying to take over the drug trade. Belli is such a lunkheaded character that it’s often hard to root for him (he sends his young daughter to a safe place that he couldn’t figure out was anything but), and the villains are simply stock characters. But as an actioner, the film largely gets the job done, with some impressive vehicular stuntwork and a nihilistic atmosphere that rings true.

Extras in the limited edition 4K + Blu-ray + CD edition include audio commentary by writer-director Enzo G. Castellari; audio commentary by Nero and filmmaker Mike Malloy (Eurocrime! The Italian Cop and Gangster Films That Ruled the ‘70s); interviews with Castellari and Nero; an alternate ending; an amusing featurette by Malloy titled The Connection Connection; and a poster and still gallery. The CD contains the film’s soundtrack by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis.

Movie: ★★½

REPO MAN (1984). A better Alex Cox film for Criterion Collection enshrinement than his dismal 1987 dud Walker, this debut feature from the radical filmmaker became an immediate cult hit but also the high point of a career that failed to distinguish itself much after the one-two punch of this and 1986’s Sid & Nancy. Emilio Estevez plays Otto, a soft-around-the-edges punk who gets roped into the car repossession business by Bud (Harry Dean Stanton), a busted, bitter man who has nothing to hold onto except his honorable Repo Code. Bud and the other repo men (all named after beer brands) teach Otto the tricks of the trade; eventually, they’re among those caught up in the search for a valuable Chevy Malibu which, unbeknownst to them, contains something deadly in the trunk. There’s a reason the Criterion edition of the 1955 film noir Kiss Me Deadly includes a 4-minute tribute by Cox, considering he borrows that movie’s visual of an otherworldly glow for his own uncompromising effort (Quentin Tarantino would later do likewise in Pulp Fiction). Such a playful mood informs Repo Man, yet Cox also takes time to comment on the seamy side of Los Angeles, the crushing realities of living in an increasingly comformist society, and the problems inherent in a decade that so baldly worships Ronald Reagan, L. Ron Hubbard, and television evangelists. The punk-rock soundtrack, fronted by Iggy Pop’s “Repo Man Theme Song,” has become a classic in its own right.

Extras in the 4K + Blu-ray edition include audio commentary by Cox, executive producer (and ex-Monkee) Michael Nesmith, casting director Victoria Thomas, and select co-stars; deleted scenes; interviews with various cast and crew members, including Iggy Pop; a conversation between Stanton and producer Peter McCarthy; and the heavily edited TV version of the film.

Movie: ★★★

THE STRANGERS (2008). One of my cinematic pet peeves is when a fellow scribe describes a motion picture as pointless. Despite the scarcity of story, or lack of depth among the characters, or general incompetence on every level, the filmmakers had some sort of vision — some raison d’être — for making their movie, and that alone means it has some sort of point. Yet the mere existence of The Strangers has long tested my theory and perpetually risks turning me into a hypocrite. As I wrote upon exiting the advance screening in 2008 — and as I’m writing again after revisiting the picture — is there a point to this anemic “torture porn” thriller in which a young couple (Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman) are terrorized in a secluded vacation home by three masked invaders? Maybe the point is to show how none of us are really safe from the evils of the outside world, even when we’re in our own homes. That’s a moldy premise that barely needs repeating: Even the months leading up to this film’s original release boasted of two other movies wielding identical plotlines (the French import Them and the Funny Games remake). Or perhaps writer-director Bryan Bertino’s only purpose is to scare the living hell out of viewers, a noble pursuit in this century of mostly fright-free terror tales. But The Strangers isn’t scary, just tedious, and the final image shows that Bertino didn’t even have the guts to follow the story to its logical ending. His cop-out may not make the movie even more pointless, but it certainly makes it more insulting. A sequel, The Strangers: Prey at Night, followed in 2018, and a new trilogy has recently been birthed, with The Strangers: Chapter 1 opening this past May and the other two arriving soon.

The 4K + Blu-ray edition contains the R-rated theatrical cut as well as an unrated version. Extras include a making-of featurette; an interview with Bertino; and deleted scenes.

Movie: ★

SUDDEN DEATH (1995). After the enormous success of 1988’s Die Hard, it wasn’t much of a surprise to see “Die Hard on a bus” (Speed), “Die Hard on a ship” (Under Siege), “Die Hard on a train” (Under Siege 2: Dark Territory), “Die Hard on a plane” (Air Force One … or Executive Decision), and even “Die Hard on a mountain” (Cliffhanger). But did anyone have “Die Hard at a hockey game” on their bingo card? Nevertheless, Sudden Death is one of the better knockoffs, with Jean-Claude Van Damme as a fire marshal working at the Pittsburgh Civic Arena. On the night of the last game of the Stanley Cup Finals, a turncoat Secret Service agent (Powers Boothe) and his band are holding the U.S. Vice President (Raymond J. Barry) and other bigwigs hostage in the luxury suite — if they don’t get the big payoff they seek, they’ll start killing hostages, and, even if they do receive it, they still plan to blow up the entire auditorium at game’s end. Naturally, there’s only one — repeat, one — man who can possibly stop this nefarious scheme. Sudden Death is admittedly a little too cold-blooded for this sort of action romp — I didn’t really need to see Three’s Company’s Mrs. Roper shot point-blank — and Boothe proves to be a poor man’s Hans Gruber. But the pacing is brisk, the action sequences are spectacular, and there’s one surprise twist I should have seen coming but didn’t. Like Walter Hill, Peter Hyams was an accomplished director whose career faded over time, but it’s no coincidence that the director of Capricorn One and the underrated Narrow Margin remake helmed Van Damme’s two best films: this and the previous year’s Timecop.

Extras in the 4K + Blu-ray edition include film historian audio commentary; vintage interview clips with Hyams, Van Damme, and Boothe; and behind-the-scenes footage.

Movie: ★★★

THE WATCHERS (2024). The Clock-Watchers would have been a better title for this tedious claptrap that wears out its welcome long before the predictable final twist. Yes, final twist — since this film was written and directed by Ishana Night Shyamalan, the daughter of M. (the Glass filmmaker, not the Peter Lorre child killer), there of course has to be a last attempt at a gotcha, no matter how obvious or poorly handled. The first act does a nice job of setting up the premise, with troubled American Mina (Dakota Fanning) getting lost in an eerie forest in Ireland. She stumbles across three strangers —the sage Madeline (Olwen Fouéré), the fretful Ciara (Georgina Campbell), and the sullen Daniel (Oliver Finnegan) — who insist she must remain with them forever in some isolated room smackdab in the middle of the woods or she will be killed by ominous woodland dwellers known as the Watchers. An atmosphere of unease is nicely established at the start, but matters unravel after that. There isn’t an exposition dump as much as an exposition avalanche, and, because there has to be at least one fatality among the major characters, a person commits an act so ridiculous and unbelievable that it immediately takes viewers out of the picture. From there, the movie only limps to its feeble conclusion.

Blu-ray extras include a making-of featurette; pieces on the visual effects and the set design; and a deleted scene.

Movie: ★★

ZOLTAN… HOUND OF DRACULA (1977). Originally making the rounds under the title Dracula’s Dog, Zoltan… Hound of Dracula turns out to be a real bow-wow. Soviet soldiers in Romania accidentally uncover the tomb of Igor(?) Dracula, from which emerges not only the late Count’s Renfield-like lackey Veidt Smit (Reggie Nalder) but also Veidt’s faithful canine companion Zoltan, who was turned into a vam-pup on the same night that Igor(?) Dracula transformed Veidt into his minion. Needing a master to serve, Veidt and Zoltan travel to Los Angeles to seek out Michael Drake (Michael Pataki), whose real name is actually … Michael Dracula! As the last living descendant of Count Igor(?) Dracula, it’s logical that he should serve as their new master, so Veidt orders Zoltan to begin turning the Drake family’s beautiful German Shepherds (Mom, Dad, and puppies) into vampiric doggies. José Ferrer, who in another lifetime had won an Oscar for 1950’s Cyrano de Bergerac, co-stars as the Romanian inspector who tries to save Michael Drake from being bitten by the bloodthirsty bowser. The visual and makeup effects are by four-time Oscar winner Stan Winston (Aliens, Jurassic Park), but his contribution here mainly consists of making the dogs’ eyes glow in the dark. Pataki is laughably miscast as both Michael Drake and, briefly, Igor(?) Dracula; as for Nalder, Zoltan… Hound of Dracula did not end his dalliance with vampires. In 1978, Nalder portrayed Dr. Van Helsing opposite porn stars John Holmes and Annette Haven in the X-rated Dracula Sucks, while in 1979, he essayed the iconic role of the hideous bloodsucker Kurt Barlow in the TV-movie adaptation of Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot (see From Screen To Stream below).

Blu-ray extras consist of film historian audio commentary; a radio spot; and the theatrical trailer.

Movie: ★½

SHORT AND SWEET

CAN’T HARDLY WAIT (1998). While the glut of 1990s teen comedies produced such winners as Clueless and 10 Things I Hate About You, it also gave birth to a number of instantly disposable titles like this one. The majority of the movie is set at a raucous graduation party, as a nice kid (Ethan Embry) hopes to finally land his dream girl (Jennifer Love Hewitt) after she gets dumped by her bullying jock boyfriend (Peter Facinelli, exactly 10 years before he became the Cullen family patriarch in Twilight). There’s little imagination in the scripting, meaning the movie’s main virtue is as a spot-the-rising-star game: Jason Segel, Selma Blair, Jaime Pressly, Sean Patrick Thomas, and many more.

Extras in the 4K + Digital edition include two audio commentaries featuring various cast and crew members; a making-of featurette; deleted and alternate scenes; and the music video for Smash Mouth’s “Can’t Get Enough of You Baby.”

Movie: ★★

INSIDE OUT 2 (2024). One of the most perfect of all Pixar flicks has finally been followed by a sequel that, while enjoyable, doesn’t come close to matching the giddy heights of its 2015 predecessor. In this installment, Riley is now a 13-year-old girl, meaning that her core emotions of Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust have to share head space with Envy, Embarrassment, Ennui, and, most prominent of all, Anxiety. The voice work is as spirited as ever (Amy Poehler again heads the cast as Joy), and there are delightful little details around every corner (I especially liked the Sar-Chasm, and Bloofy and Pouchy are brilliant creations). But the emotional and psychological beats aren’t nearly as forceful as in the original — the film’s view of puberty seems rather limited — and, with the exception of Anxiety, the new emotions register as bit players, which has never been a problem with the beautifully delineated five-hive.

Blu-ray extras include a look at the new emotions and deleted scenes.

Movie: ★★★

FROM SCREEN TO STREAM

CLAUDINE (1974). The great James Earl Jones passed away earlier this week at the age of 93, and I hardly need to tell anyone to honor him by revisiting his vocal work as Darth Vader in the Star Wars series and Mufasa in The Lion King. Those looking for something less obvious, though, might want to take a chance on Claudine, a movie that works as both a gentle romantic comedy and a hard-hitting social critique. Diahann Carroll received a Best Actress Oscar nomination as the title character, a Harlem resident living in a cramped apartment with her six children. Wooed by a garrulous garbage collector named Roop (Jones), they soon become a couple. But her kids are suspicious of Roop, with the oldest (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) convinced he’ll leave her like all the other men in her life. And because she’s on welfare, Claudine has to keep not only her job as a maid a secret from the social worker (Elisa Loti) but also her relationship with Roop, since the value of any gifts he might bestow upon her would be deducted from her benefits. Carroll, the first African-American woman to star in a TV series (Julia) and the first to win a lead Tony Award (No Strings), appreciated the opportunity to play this character since it was a departure from the sophisticated, upper-class parts she usually landed. She’s perfect in the picture, but so is Jones, whose character’s good cheer barely disguises his contempt with an unjust, Catch-22 system designed to punish the poor. The soundtrack album, with songs written by Curtis Mayfield and sung by Gladys Knight & the Pips, reached #1 on the Billboard R&B chart and yielded a Top 5 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 with “On and On.”

Movie: ★★★

DICK TRACY (1990). Here’s the working definition of style over substance, as Dick Tracy’s flaccid script is completely overwhelmed by some of the most tremendous production values seen in many a moon. This is director-producer-star Warren Beatty’s live-action interpretation of the comic-strip character created in 1931, with the filmmaker cast as the honest, square-jawed detective who spends his time fighting a menagerie of grotesque crooks. Chief among these villains is Big Boy Caprice (Al Pacino), who hopes to convince every criminal in town to work under him. Big Boy’s moll is a sultry singer named Breathless Mahoney (Madonna), although she’s more interested in seducing Tracy. The basic, bright sets designed by Richard Sylbert are amazing to behold (he only employed a half-dozen different colors), as are the makeup creations by John Caglione Jr. and Doug Drexler. And the supporting cast is packed with quality actors: Dustin Hoffman (who steals the film as the aptly named Mumbles), James Caan, Dick Van Dyke, and more. But the script by Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr. (known for such treasures as The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas and Turner & Hooch) is thimble-deep and only traffics in clichés, while Beatty seems tired in the central role — he would have been terrific in the part 10 years prior, but as it stands, his Tracy needs his pension more than another crime to solve. Nominated for seven Academy Awards (including Best Supporting Actor for Pacino in the same year the group weirdly ignored him for Best Actor for The Godfather: Part III), this nabbed three statues: Best Art Direction & Set Decoration, Best Makeup, and Best Original Song for Stephen Sondheim’s “Sooner or Later (I Always Get My Man),” crooned by Madonna.

Movie: ★★½

SALEM’S LOT (1979). Salem’s Lot finds an early (and excellent) Stephen King novel receiving the TV-movie treatment, with director Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre) hired to ensure the mood was sustained even during the original broadcast breaks for cereal and soft drink commercials. Running 183 minutes (there’s also a 112-minute version that was released in theaters internationally), it’s an impressive undertaking, with author Ben Mears (David Soul) returning to his childhood home of Salem’s Lot at the exact same time the distinguished Mr. Straker (James Mason) and his mysterious partner Mr. Barlow are opening an antique shop in the quiet town. Small-screen restrictions require the bloodletting be kept to a minimum (though the death-by-antler scene is still pretty eye-catching), but Hooper and scripter Paul Monash nevertheless manage to construct a first-rate chiller out of King’s fertile source material. Reggie Nalder is an effective vampire in the grand Nosferatu tradition, while future Best in Show scene-stealer Fred Willard (at the time co-hosting the hit TV series Real People) appears as a luckless realtor; noir buffs should also take note of the presence of Marie Windsor and Elisha Cook Jr., who 23 years earlier had played an ill-fated couple in Stanley Kubrick’s The Killing. A Return to Salem’s Lot, a critically reviled sequel made by others, followed in 1987; there was also a 2004 miniseries starring Rob Lowe as Ben, Donald Sutherland as Straker, and Rutger Hauer as the vampire, and a new version will air on HBO Max next month.

Movie: ★★★½

Review links for movies referenced in this column (links open in new windows):
Air Force One
Aliens
Audrey Rose
Blade Runner
Clueless
Dark Harvest
The Entity
Friday the 13th Franchise
The Godfather: Part III 
James Bond Franchise
The Killing
The Lion King
Narrow Margin
1984
99 River Street
Nosferatu
Pixar Films
The Seventh Seal
Sid & Nancy
Star Wars
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 
Walker
Wayne’s World