FILM FRENZY

Jaquel Spivey, Angourie Rice, and Auli’i Cravalho in Mean Girls (2024); Lacey Chabert, Rachel McAdams, Lindsay Lohan, and Amanda Seyfried in Mean Girls (2004) (Photos: Paramount)

By Matt Brunson

(For a review of this week’s Ocean’s Trilogy 4K release, go here.)

(View From The Couch is a weekly column that reviews what’s new on Blu-ray, 4K and DVD. Ratings are on a four-star scale.)

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) / CONAN THE DESTROYER (1984). Arnold Schwarzenegger had been knocking about Hollywood for over a decade, but despite a few nibbles like Hercules in New York and Stay Hungry, he only became a recognizable Tinseltown fixture once he played the title role in the box office hit Conan the Barbarian. Alas, this adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s pulp adventures (also seen in the popular Marvel comic books) is a lumbering bore, with director John Milius and co-scripter Oliver Stone bringing no sense of joy to the proceedings. It’s a fine-looking production, but the story — Conan squares off against a Snake King, played by a monotonous James Earl Jones — is uninvolving, and a wooden Arnie is not yet seasoned enough to work up the charisma that would serve him well in later roles. Conan the Barbarian was followed two years later by Conan the Destroyer; the sequel was roundly trashed, but it’s no worse than its predecessor, since its campy components at least take the edge off the tedious proceedings. Besides, where else can you see Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, and Wilt Chamberlain all sharing the same screen?

The 4K + Blu-ray editions are available separately or in a box set titled The Conan Chronicles. Various extras on the 4K + Blu-ray editions of both films include audio commentaries by select cast and crew members (including Milius and Schwarzenegger on Conan the Barbarian); interviews; image galleries; and theatrical trailers.

Conan the Barbarian: ★★

Conan the Destroyer: ★★

EIGHT MEN OUT (1988). One of the finest and most underrated of filmmakers has made one of his finest and most underrated movies with this excellent dramatization of the 1919 World Series scandal that rocked the sports world. Writer-director John Sayles has created a compelling picture about an American tragedy, one which began due to (but of course) the greed of a wealthy man. The Chicago White Sox were considered the best team in baseball and seemed certain to beat the Cincinnati Reds in the World Series, thanks to the A-game efforts of players like pitcher Eddie Cicotte (David Strathairn), third baseman Buck Weaver (John Cusack), and “Shoeless Joe” Jackson (D.B. Sweeney). But the players are treated horribly by team owner Charles Comiskey (Clifton James, the 007 franchise’s notorious Sheriff J.W. Pepper), who pays them poorly and stiffs them out of bonuses (to celebrate the team reaching the World Series, he presents them with flat champagne). When various gamblers and crooked businessmen offer to pay the key players large sums to throw the Series, six jump at the chance. The illiterate Shoeless Joe doesn’t really understand what’s going on and still plays his best during the games, while Weaver knows of the plot but refuses to take part, likewise playing his hardest. Nevertheless, when the scheme is eventually exposed by journalists Ring Lardner (Sayles) and Hugh Fullerton (Studs Terkel), Shoeless Joe and Weaver are among the eight banned forever from professional baseball, as heartbreaking a story as ever existed in sports history. Richly evocative, this is a stark reminder that the color of money ultimately cannot compete with the thrill of victory. The cast is uniformly excellent, with John Mahoney particularly touching as Kid Gleason, the team manager who defends his players under all circumstances.

There are no Blu-ray extras.

Movie: ★★★½

MADAME WEB (2024). This year’s sacrificial lamb in the “worst film ever made” chatter — specifically, “one of the worst superhero films of all time” — is Madame Web, which so clearly stood no chance of succeeding that it’s a wonder the studio greenlit it anyway. The Spider-Man connection was the reason, of course, but its focus on lesser known characters, its comparatively drab visuals, and its kamikaze choice of Dakota Johnson in the lead role made it a tough sell from the start. (I don’t mind Johnson, but her Fifty Shades of Grey role has made her an easy target in the same way Twilight made Kristen Stewart an easy target until her acting prowess essentially forced the haters to take a hike.) But the worst superhero film ever made? Gimme a break — have these folks forgotten about Batman & Robin, Catwoman, and any given Fantastic Four flick? Heck, even among newer titles, this bests Black Adam, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, and any given Venom flick. Johnson plays Cassandra “Cassie” Web, whose unique birth 30 years prior has resulted in her newfound clairvoyant abilities. She has visions of Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), a millionaire who killed her mother (Kerry Bishé) for possession of a unique spider, murdering three teenage girls (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor) before they can discover their calling as variations of Spider-Woman. The burgeoning relationship between Cassie and the girls is nicely handled, but the action scenes lack flair, Sims proves to be a one-dimensional villain, and several plot developments make little sense.

Blu-ray extras include a making-of featurette; a piece on the comic source material; a look at the stunts; a deleted scene; a gag reel; and Easter Eggs.

Movie: ★★

MEAN GIRLS (2004) / MEAN GIRLS (2024). The new SteelBook edition of 2004’s Mean Girls proclaims that it’s the film’s “First Time on Fetch 4K.” Meanwhile, the new 4K edition of 2024’s Mean Girls states that it “Includes Over 30 Minutes of Fetch Bonus Features” and includes a shameless critical quote declaring that the movie is “a fun and fetch spin on a timeless teen story.” In other words, it’s been two decades now, and someone is still trying to make “fetch” happen. Just let it go, folks — at this point, “retch” has a better chance than “fetch” at cracking the cool kid lingo. But no matter its ultimate fate, at least the movie that housed it continues to hold its ground; let’s see if its remake can make the same claim in another 20 years.

Like Heathers and Clueless, the 2004 Mean Girls turns out to be that rare teen flick that refuses to be pigeonholed as a teen flick. Even more remarkably, it also turns out to be that rare Saturday Night Live-sanctioned comedy that’s actually funny. The guiding light behind this project is Tina Fey: She elected to bring Rosalind Wiseman’s best-selling Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence to the screen, along the way turning a nonfiction book into a fictional screenplay spiced up with her own pithy, piercing observations. Lindsay Lohan (at the height of her popularity) stars as Cady Heron, a naïve teen who makes her public school debut after a lifetime of being home-schooled in Africa; a cultural and social blank slate, she finds herself befriended on one side by the outcasts Janis (Lizzy Caplan) and the “too gay to function” Damian (Daniel Franzese) and on the other by the bitch-goddesses collectively known as The Plastics (the perfectly cast trio of Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, and Lacey Chabert). Besides penning the knowing script, Fey also appears as Cady’s math teacher; other SNL vets include Amy Poehler, outrageously over-the-top as a shallow mom, and, in a performance that unexpectedly stirred memories of Nipsey Russell, Tim Meadows as the school principal.

Fey eventually helped turn Mean Girls into a Broadway musical, and that stage hit has been brought back to the screen in a rendition that’s fairly entertaining if not particularly inspired. Angourie Rice, best known as Betty Brant in the Tom Holland Spidey flicks, is the new Cady Heron, Charlotte Northwest School of the Arts graduate Reneé Rapp plays top mean girl Regina George, Bebe Wood and Avantika portray her underlings, Fey and Russell return as educators, and one of the stars of the original film pops up in a late-inning cameo. The musical numbers were doubtless pulled off with more panache in the theater, as they add little to the proceedings and even slow the film down on occasion. The story remains as kicky and captivating as ever, but it’s let down by the performances. With the exceptions of Auli’i Cravalho and Jaquel Spivey, who are every bit as good as Caplan and Franzese in the key roles of Janis and Damian (plus, Cravalho, formerly the voice of Moana, sports the best singing pipes in the whole show), there isn’t anyone here who comes close to matching the superior work of their predecessors. This is especially true of Avantika as Karen and Busy Phillips as Regina’s mom — Seyfried and Poehler delivered laughs by the armload, but the pair employed here are spectacularly unfunny.

Extras in the 4K + Digital Code SteelBook edition of 2004’s Mean Girls include audio commentary by Fey, director Mark Waters, and producer Lorne Michaels; deleted scenes; and a blooper reel. Extras in the 4K + Digital Code edition of 2024’s Mean Girls include an extended scene; a gag reel; and the music video for Megan Thee Stallion and Rapp’s “Not My Fault.”

Mean Girls (2004): ★★★

Mean Girls (2024): ★★½

Short And Sweet

BLUE GIANT (2023). All that jazz is the defining component of this ofttimes startlingly designed anime that’s based on the wildly popular manga series. The central character is Dae, an 18-year-old who heads to Toyko with plans to become the greatest saxophone player in the world. There, he bunks with his friend Tamada and makes the acquaintance of fellow jazz enthusiast Sawabe — after much discussion, the three decide to form a band. The story hits its share of rough spots, but the filmmakers’ obvious love of music is infectious, and the animation really pops in some places, with a few bursts recalling the psychedelia of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Blu-ray extras consist of a Q&A with composer Hiromi and the theatrical trailer.

Movie: ★★★

MILE 22 (2018). Director Peter Berg and actor Mark Wahlberg have made four movies together, but nobody will be equating them with Ford-Wayne, Kurosawa-Mifune or Bergman-von Sydow at any point in the near or far future. Easily the lamest of their collaborations, this badly edited action fizzle finds Wahlberg delivering a career-worst performance (well, maybe; there’s also Max Payne to consider) as a cranky, wise-cracking CIA operative whose groan-worthy quips and tough-guy posturing prove to be even more deadly than the copious bullets he fires at anything that moves.

Blu-ray extras include a featurette on co-star Iko Uwais (seen to greater advantage in the thrilling The Raid movies); a piece on the stuntwork; and theatrical trailers.

Movie: ★½

FROM SCREEN TO STREAM

THE ICE STORM (1997). Unjustly overlooked in director Ang Lee’s robust career, this adaptation of Rick Moody’s 1994 novel is a provocative drama focusing on two suburban families in New Canaan, Conn., in 1973. With its frequent shots of cracking ice cubes and beautifully brittle branches, Lee doesn’t hide the fact that his film is, in more ways than one, a chilly experience. With its muted colors, somber tones, and unfussy camerawork by Frederick Elmes, the movie perfectly reflects the frosty attitudes that have come to define the lives of its characters (played by, among others, Kevin Kline, Joan Allen, and Sigourney Weaver), a malaise largely brought on by the changing times in which they live. It’s the Watergate era, and in a scene that perhaps ranked as both the funniest and creepiest of its year, a teenage girl (Christina Ricci) wears a rubber Nixon mask as she and her boyfriend (Elijah Wood) engage in some heavy petting (brrr). With its piercing look at family dysfunction, the topic of home versus career, and the omnipresence of television in the American lifestyle (there always seems to be a set on somewhere in this movie), the issues addressed in The Ice Storm have as much relevance today as they did five decades ago. Ultimately, this paradox may be the movie’s greatest strength: Even while nailing a specific period in time, it’s still able to transcend its setting and speak directly to modern folks who no longer find aesthetic pleasure in impossibly long sideburns.

Movie: ★★★½